having a hard time doing once a day!

Having a hard time recently keeping up with the once a day posts that I promised. It will be a relief to go to once a week starting in December.
I'm planning to do updates on Tuesdays - fresh from the weekend, but enough time to write up on Monday and edit on Tuesday. One thing that has definitely been lacking in this once-a-day stream of consciousness writing has been any kind of editing.

I usually write it once, spellcheck it, and post it immediately.
It's quick, relatively painless, and often ends up being pointless.

I found that I stopped right at the 200 word mark and didn't finish a complete thought, didn't take the time to fully explain or explore the topic that I introduced.

Hopefully going with a weekly post at 500 word minimum will help a lot with that particular phenomenon.

One thing that was interesting and I didn't expect is just how much I have to talk about!

There's always something interesting, or at least interesting to me - it may not be my own life, but perhaps a news story or a new podcast that I've gotten into. In fact, it has sometimes been difficult to choose one thing to write about!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving - and that's really exciting in so many ways :) gobble gobble

Flu shot

I got a flu shot today!

That's about the most exciting thing in my whole day. I've been feeling a bit down and low energy and couldn't even get myself outside for a run. The cold certainly contributed, but it's still a little worrying.

Another thing I did today was buy a new pair of jeans, in a size larger than I'm currently wearing. I just need to realize that I am too big for my britches. haha. I will be very glad to have them but the process of buying them was put off, delayed, and painful because I've been trying to take weight off so I can get a size smaller, not larger.

It's days like today that I have to remind myself, sometimes verbally and out loud that I need to treat myself and speak to myself in the same way that I speak to my best friends and my sisters. This inner monologue that only finds fault and lack is mean. I would never be so mean to anyone I called a friend; there is no need to be mean to myself. Taking the words out of my head and into a new context really helps. I can look at the words from an outside perspective and recognize their negative impact. And then consciously make the choice to use other words.

I learned some of this from my therapist and realize how wonderful and life-giving it was to have someone actually be that external voice to give me perspective and tools.

It doesn't always work, and when it does, it doesn't always stick. But if I'm going to hold others accountable for being kind, using appropriate vocabulary, promoting those who are vulnerable, then I certainly need to hold myself accountable.

Being LGBTQ at Notre Dame

I participated in a positive art project to support LGBTQ young people today. If you are in L.A. and would be interested in learning more and getting involved - comment, message, or email me and I'll get you in contact.

I'm being deliberately vague about the project in order to protect the creativity and intellectual property of this idea and I don't want to jump ahead of the launch!

Doing the project made me think about my experience when I first came out as a young LGBTQ person. I was at Notre Dame, an excellent school. Great academics, strong student focus, but also a pervasive macho culture and very conservative social values.

The editor of the alumni magazine asked me to write about my experience as an LGBTQ student at Notre Dame. It was scary - trying to represent a huge diversity of experience with just my own voice - and to do so in a format that would reach an audience that was potentially very hostile.

The writing process itself was very cathartic as I had the chance to look back and reflect on the experiences that shaped my coming out. (I'd also like to say that my article is very rambling and not great writing, so forgive my 21-year-old self if you choose to read it!)

The response...

Well, it was as expected.
Alumni wrote in saying that I should never have been admitted to the university. That I should choose celibacy. That they were withdrawing all financial support to the university because it chose to admit me and feature my story.*

On the other hand, the issue, which included several articles about LGBTQ concerns, received a first place gold medal award from the Council for Advancement and Support of Education for its special issue.

I believe that my four years at Notre Dame, a conservative midwestern college, made me into the LGBTQ feminist activist that I am. Being forced to define and defend my identity shaped my values and priorities. It led me to choose education and a career path where I could provide support for people seeking recognition and justice.

I hope that the four years in the Trump administration will serve as a similar catalyst for activists, youthful or experienced, to take up their values and push for them. It won't be easy, many people will push back, but let's take this as a wake up call.


*When I went back to the comments section in order add a link to this blog post, I was genuinely surprised by the number of positive comments I found. I had forgotten about the positive and affirming comments and only retained the negative ones. I am so glad that I looked up the comment feed again. There are still many comments that are frightening (for example, the Navy man who was "lost at sea" after aberrant homosexual behavior) but they do seem more balanced than I'd originally felt.

Before the Flood

(oops! I missed a day already! but this post is twice as long as my minimum word count so that should help make up for it)

K and I watched a new documentary called “Before the Flood”. It was put together by Leonard DiCaprio and is currently streaming on the National Geographic channel and on YouTube.

It’s a documentary with a very clear message about climate change, humanity’s role in climate change, and practical ways that we can make changes in our daily lives and in our national policies in order to mitigate some of the changes.

In 2014, Leonardo DiCaprio was designated as a United Nations Messenger of Peace with a special focus on climate change.

As the UN website states:

“Messengers of Peace are individuals who possess widely recognized talents in the fields of art, film, literature, music and sports, helping to raise worldwide awareness of the Organization’s ideals and activities. Through their public appearances, contacts with the international media and humanitarian work, they expand public understanding of how the United Nations helps to improve the lives of people everywhere.”

The United Nations often appoints celebrities as messengers or unofficial ambassadors for particular causes. It is a time-proven way of bringing attention to an issue the the Secretary General has identified as important. Particularly if that issue is facing opposition and is in need of popular support to make a change. Angelina Jolie is another example, she was a Goodwill Ambassador on refugee issues for eleven years, from 2001 to 2012. In 2012, she was given the new position of Special Envoy for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. Her frequent visits and vocal support for refugees and displaced people has arguably made a large difference in public understanding and sympathy for these populations.

Before watching this documentary, I was not aware that Leonardo DiCaprio was involved in climate change issues. His involvement in the documentary seemed a bit forced and like simply a publicity stunt. But one that I was willing to check out because I believe in the importance of bringing the issue to the public eye.

However, watching the documentary and learning more about his background, I discovered that he has been involved in environmental protection for many years! The Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation was formed in 1998 and has the mission:

The Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation is dedicated to the long-term health and wellbeing of all Earth’s inhabitants. Through collaborative partnerships, we support innovative projects that protect vulnerable wildlife from extinction, while restoring balance to threatened ecosystems and communities.

The documentary was well done in that it certainly pushed the crisis and consequences of our current state but also provided some concrete ways to make a difference on an individual level and then practical policies to advocate for on a national level.

K and I decided immediately to:

1. Change our energy provider to a renewable energy source
2. Cut down on our beef consumption - with a goal of only one meal per week
3. Look for the possibility of buying a hybrid car (we’re currently in the market for a car, so this is a great criterion to add)

On the larger scale, many of the interviewees in the documentary spoke about the importance of public opinion - once public opinion strongly supports a move to environmentally friendly policies, our leaders will pursue them.