Being LGBTQ at Notre Dame

I participated in a positive art project to support LGBTQ young people today. If you are in L.A. and would be interested in learning more and getting involved - comment, message, or email me and I'll get you in contact.

I'm being deliberately vague about the project in order to protect the creativity and intellectual property of this idea and I don't want to jump ahead of the launch!

Doing the project made me think about my experience when I first came out as a young LGBTQ person. I was at Notre Dame, an excellent school. Great academics, strong student focus, but also a pervasive macho culture and very conservative social values.

The editor of the alumni magazine asked me to write about my experience as an LGBTQ student at Notre Dame. It was scary - trying to represent a huge diversity of experience with just my own voice - and to do so in a format that would reach an audience that was potentially very hostile.

The writing process itself was very cathartic as I had the chance to look back and reflect on the experiences that shaped my coming out. (I'd also like to say that my article is very rambling and not great writing, so forgive my 21-year-old self if you choose to read it!)

The response...

Well, it was as expected.
Alumni wrote in saying that I should never have been admitted to the university. That I should choose celibacy. That they were withdrawing all financial support to the university because it chose to admit me and feature my story.*

On the other hand, the issue, which included several articles about LGBTQ concerns, received a first place gold medal award from the Council for Advancement and Support of Education for its special issue.

I believe that my four years at Notre Dame, a conservative midwestern college, made me into the LGBTQ feminist activist that I am. Being forced to define and defend my identity shaped my values and priorities. It led me to choose education and a career path where I could provide support for people seeking recognition and justice.

I hope that the four years in the Trump administration will serve as a similar catalyst for activists, youthful or experienced, to take up their values and push for them. It won't be easy, many people will push back, but let's take this as a wake up call.


*When I went back to the comments section in order add a link to this blog post, I was genuinely surprised by the number of positive comments I found. I had forgotten about the positive and affirming comments and only retained the negative ones. I am so glad that I looked up the comment feed again. There are still many comments that are frightening (for example, the Navy man who was "lost at sea" after aberrant homosexual behavior) but they do seem more balanced than I'd originally felt.

Why I'm wearing a safety pin

In the wake of the vote in favor of the United kingdom leaving the European Union (infamously known as Brexit), many of my friends in Scotland began wearing safety pins visibly on their tops. Their safety pin was a symbol of solidarity with immigrants who faced a terrifying wave of vocal discrimination after the vote. Some people took the vote as justification, validation of their feelings that immigrants didn't /don't belong in the U.K. and therefore they felt safe making their xenophobic feelings vocal, visible and even physical. The idea behind wearing the safety pin now is that I pledge to stand up for people being targeted by racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic words and acts. Especially in the wake of the election of Donald Trump as the American President given his divisive and deplorable rhetoric. I appreciate the importance of a visible symbol and hope that seeing this symbol will give comfort to people being targeted. More importantly and more likely I hope that wearing the safety pin will start conversations and give me the opportunity to inspire other people to also stand up and take action against intolerance. I have read several articles written by both people of color and white people about the insufficiency of wearing a safety pin. I agree completely, and encourage you to read those opinions as well.

Ijeoma Oluo makes a real and important criticism of choosing a symbolic act rather than actual action in her article.
"All that energy that I had hoped would go toward real-life action in support of marginalized populations who have been fighting this system alone for far too long was diverted to a symbol that most people wouldn’t even notice."

Christopher Keelty offers ideas and challenges people to find more productive ways to show solidarity than just putting on a safety pin in his piece
"We aren’t going to congratulate ourselves on it, we’re not going to wear some stupid symbolic badge that says “Hey, I’m a good white person” so other white people will congratulate us on how woke we are. "

I will continue to wear a safety pin as a symbol but I will not let it replace the actual work that I have committed to. My safety pin means nothing if I do not call people out on intolerant acts and statements.
If I see someone being targeted, I will step in.
If I hear a racial slur, I will speak up.
I will actively increase the number of voices of people of color that I regularly listen to - I will seek out blogs and twitter accounts that offer me new perspectives.
I will question myself on my actions and not just my intentions and take criticism with an open heart.

Happy Veteran's Day

Today is a very special day. It's an opportunity to say thank you and recognize the sacrifice, honor, and service of the veterans of armed forces. I personally have at least six family members who have served or are currently serving in the armed forces. It has been a huge influence on me personally and on the way that I perceive patriotism and service to country.  I'd also like to recognize the wives and families of veterans. You make just as many sacrifices and earn as much honor in my opinion.

Thank you for your service.

I have also served at an Embassy - and let me just give a quick Happy Birthday! to the Marine Corps - and worked with defense attaches and Marine security guards. Their professionalism, motivation, and job knowledge has always impressed me. I had the opportunity to help the MSGs at Embassy Beirut settle into the community by getting them out to meet youth, serve as real-life examples of Americans to the high school and middle school students that I worked with through our education and sports programs. Their diversity, loyalty and friendliness - not to mention their athletic ability - made a huge impression on the students. Some of these students are from areas in Lebanon where leaders are openly anti-America. This was the first chance to meet an American in person, not just see the hyperbole of reality television.

At the Independence Day celebration

Thank you for your service, not only protecting us but also reaching out and changing stereotypes.

Today is also an opportunity to seriously consider how we treat veterans of military service. It is an opportunity to consider how often we need to send men and women into danger. An opportunity to think about the consequences to the health, mental and physical, of war on entire generations of Americans.  And how much we invest to bring them back to health. It is so important to protect and defend the rights and recovery of those who have protected and defended us.

So surprised

Last night was very hard. I went through all of the stages of grief multiple times.

I was so incredibly, jaw-droppingly, mind-overcomingly surprised.

That is a problem.

How could I have been so out of touch with what 50% of Americans were thinking?
Frankly, I was surprised that it was even close in the lead up to the election. I still believe that Donald J. Trump is the least deserving candidate that I have ever seen. He makes Paul Ryan and Ted Cruz look reasonable. Just the other day, I was watching the documentary about Hamilton and saw Paul Ryan's contribution and I was so impressed with his intelligence and articulate speech.

I mourned most of today. I spent the day alone in the house listening to Rage Against the Machine and puttering about cleaning the bathroom and taking out the trash. It was a way for me to take back some agency, clean up some mess.

I am not yet ready to gird my loins and get out and be an activist, but I'm doing some self-care in order to get there.

Part of what I'm going to do is educate myself. I want to understand what went into the choice to vote for Donald J. Trump. Was it about change? Was it about hating Hillary Clinton? Was it about hating President Obama? Was it really about absolutely loving Donald J. Trump and his policies? (I find the last one the hardest to believe because he had no clear and consistent policy standpoints - but that's from my perspective, maybe others perceived differently?)

I really appreciate Tim Urban's blog "It's Going to be Okay" on Wait But Why and I recommend that you read it. He has taken more energy and time to put his thoughts together on the why, how and what's next.

Phone banking

I should be posting a response to a Journey of the Universe prompt but I’ll put that off until tomorrow morning and instead tell you about my adventures working the phone bank for Hillary for America!

This morning, I drove K into work (there’s a Metro SafeTrack thing going on right now that has closed several of the metro stations between home and work). Of course, it’s Monday morning and with Metro closed, there are at least double the number of cars on the street as normal. What takes 20 minutes in zero traffic, took more than double this morning. Ugh.

On the bright side, I didn’t have to jump right back into traffic - I parked at K’s work and just crossed the street to the Phoenix Park Hotel to join in the phone banks.

Having done some house calls on Saturday, I was feeling more confident about picking up the phone but still nervous. What made it so much easier for me was that this is the Get out the Vote time - I’m only calling people who are registered Democrats and expected to vote for Hillary. My role is to remind them to get to the polls, inform them about what they need to bring, where to go, and help them make a plan.

The set up was minimal - I checked in, had a quick training and then set up my personal laptop, brought out my personal cell phone, and started dialling the numbers that came up on the program. I’d expected a fancier set up with coffee, snacks, stickers, etc. I was honestly pretty glad to see that they were saving resources and relying on volunteers. It felt really genuine.

We were calling folks in North Carolina today. I made my way through 75 names in just the 90 minutes that I was there. Of course, the majority went to voicemail, so I only actually spoke to about 5 people.

One of the numbers I dialed picked up after the first ring but no one said anything. I said “Hello?” paused and “hello” again. Then I went quiet and realized I could hear someone making a presentation about cell membranes. Oops! Must have called someone in the middle of class and they accidentally picked up in order to stop the ringing.

The people I did speak to were great: The woman who was undecided but grateful to know her polling place; The excitement in the voice of a mother who said she and her sons were going to vote together tomorrow; The young man who said he’d already voted.

There was a nice diversity in the volunteers - an older woman who came in just after me and had a beautiful speaking voice struck up great conversations as she worked through the script. A young man behind me had a British accent and smiled so big whenever a call got through. A black man around my age sitting across from me was in charge of troubleshooting, working with callers to resolve their specific registration concerns. A woman my age who brought coffee in a large mason jar that she explained was wrapped in the sock that her grandmother knit for her but was too big for her foot.

It felt so good to be a part of the group. And even better to see the large group of people just arriving as I left. I hope that they continue to be successful and reach out to empower people to place their vote.

GOTV

Get out the vote!

In case you hadn’t noticed, there’s an election on Tuesday. This election includes presidential candidates, of course, but there are also many state and local representatives and policies that we each have an opportunity to consider and weigh in on.

I’m a registered voter in Northern Virginia because that is my most recent official address in the United States. (I just missed the deadline to register to vote in the District of Columbia so I’m sticking with my Virginia address for this election.) I spent a couple of hours today previewing the ballot that I will see on Tuesday. You can do that too - just got to vote411.org and put in your address for personalized election information.

When you put in your address, the website will provide you with the address of your polling place, what you need to bring to vote (in Virginia, I need a photo ID), how to check whether you are registered to vote, and finally: a list of what races will be on your ballot.

There are 10 races on my ballot that include the presidential race, a congressional representative race, two constitutional amendments, the county board of supervisors, and school board, several local budget initiatives like selling bonds to build school and public transit infrastructure.

The website is great because it provides links to the candidates’ websites, link to the local government’s budget justification and explanation, and information from both the proponents and opponents of the amendments, etc.

For example, the Tax Relief Constitutional Amendment:

It’s non-partisan and informative. And it will help me keep my time at the actual ballot box pretty short because I’ve already reviewed the information and made my choices.

I made my choice for President many months ago. I support Hillary Clinton for President. I believe that she is intelligent, compassionate, experienced, and has proven her good judgment and readiness for the office. I will be very proud to cast my vote for her.

K and I volunteered as part of her “ground team” yesterday - canvassing local neighborhoods to help people make a plan to get to the polls. This is a huge opportunity and I want everyone to get out and vote. Even if we disagree about policies and candidates - I want your vote to be counted.  Take this opportunity to practice democracy rather than just benefit from it.

I have lived in Togo and in Lebanon where democracy is much shakier than in the United States. But the only way that we can ensure that democracy will continue to be strong is through our full participation. Voting, volunteering, speaking up about policies we like and don’t like, keeping our politicians accountable not just during the campaign but throughout their tenure.

Go Vote!

Before the Flood

(oops! I missed a day already! but this post is twice as long as my minimum word count so that should help make up for it)

K and I watched a new documentary called “Before the Flood”. It was put together by Leonard DiCaprio and is currently streaming on the National Geographic channel and on YouTube.

It’s a documentary with a very clear message about climate change, humanity’s role in climate change, and practical ways that we can make changes in our daily lives and in our national policies in order to mitigate some of the changes.

In 2014, Leonardo DiCaprio was designated as a United Nations Messenger of Peace with a special focus on climate change.

As the UN website states:

“Messengers of Peace are individuals who possess widely recognized talents in the fields of art, film, literature, music and sports, helping to raise worldwide awareness of the Organization’s ideals and activities. Through their public appearances, contacts with the international media and humanitarian work, they expand public understanding of how the United Nations helps to improve the lives of people everywhere.”

The United Nations often appoints celebrities as messengers or unofficial ambassadors for particular causes. It is a time-proven way of bringing attention to an issue the the Secretary General has identified as important. Particularly if that issue is facing opposition and is in need of popular support to make a change. Angelina Jolie is another example, she was a Goodwill Ambassador on refugee issues for eleven years, from 2001 to 2012. In 2012, she was given the new position of Special Envoy for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. Her frequent visits and vocal support for refugees and displaced people has arguably made a large difference in public understanding and sympathy for these populations.

Before watching this documentary, I was not aware that Leonardo DiCaprio was involved in climate change issues. His involvement in the documentary seemed a bit forced and like simply a publicity stunt. But one that I was willing to check out because I believe in the importance of bringing the issue to the public eye.

However, watching the documentary and learning more about his background, I discovered that he has been involved in environmental protection for many years! The Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation was formed in 1998 and has the mission:

The Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation is dedicated to the long-term health and wellbeing of all Earth’s inhabitants. Through collaborative partnerships, we support innovative projects that protect vulnerable wildlife from extinction, while restoring balance to threatened ecosystems and communities.

The documentary was well done in that it certainly pushed the crisis and consequences of our current state but also provided some concrete ways to make a difference on an individual level and then practical policies to advocate for on a national level.

K and I decided immediately to:

1. Change our energy provider to a renewable energy source
2. Cut down on our beef consumption - with a goal of only one meal per week
3. Look for the possibility of buying a hybrid car (we’re currently in the market for a car, so this is a great criterion to add)

On the larger scale, many of the interviewees in the documentary spoke about the importance of public opinion - once public opinion strongly supports a move to environmentally friendly policies, our leaders will pursue them.