18 June 2008

take a chance on me, if you need me let me know/ if you’ve got no place to go, if you’re feeling down


I’m really missing everybody tonight.

I finally took out the letters that my mom gave me when I left. I’ve been coming across them and putting them aside, consciously distracting myself from being homesick.

I’ve already done 6 chapters of French exercises since arriving in Agou.

Anyway, so tonight I took out the letters.

My baby sister, who is definitely not a baby anymore, but a bright and wonderful and loving young woman, wrote me a gorgeous little note that makes me feel so happy and loved. And there was a letter from my mom too that not only made me feel loved but also reminded me of why I’m here in Africa – the lofty and righteous hopes and goals.

A trainee from the health program left for home today. It came out of the blue for me, I had no idea he was having trouble, but I’m also not close to him. It’s not unexpected, numbers-wise. Last year’s stage had 3 people leave within the first 3 months of training. Another left just recently. I admire people who have the guts to say ‘I made a mistake, this isn’t for me’ and go home.

I’m determined to stick out the down days (and weeks), find a support structure and use it, and stay here for my two years and a bit. Today was a down day, but mostly I’m just sad because I haven’t had any contact from home in a while. I hope that I will be able to get some internet time soon. I need to be a bit more proactive about it.

I texted a few people tonight, but I haven’t received any replies which makes me wonder if the texts didn’t go through. This is probably more frustrating than simply not having a cell phone to begin with.

Okay – tomorrow I’ll focus on the positive.

x’s and o’s

ABBA – Take a Chance on Me
Book: The Bourne Ultimatum


Louise said...

I am very much in awe of the amazing-ness you're up to. I'm sure you will find it easier as time goes on. Take care, and keep up with the updates, lou :)

Anonymous said...

Consider yourself hugged by me when ever you are feeling you need it okay.
Love you,
Auntie KK